What if losing you was the best thing that could have happened to me now?
Then, you were the only eyes I could see me through. Your vision was like a prayer I could simply Amen. You saw me as strong and I knew I was strong. You saw me as capable and I knew I was capable. You saw me as organized and I knew I was organized. You saw me as a fighter and I knew I could fight.
Now, your eyes are closed to earth and I’ve lost my sight. I feel weak reaching for the strength you once saw in me. I feel inept searching for the competence you readily found in me. I feel disoriented sorting out life without you, without your eyes to see me through. I feel like a coward trying to keep my head up while drowning tears fall and consume me.
Yet, there’s hope–a longing to someday see me through these swollen brown eyes. Someday I will no longer envy the caterpillar I was through your eyes. Someday I will no longer pity the chrysalis I am now. Oh! Someday I will fly with confidence and competence, form and fight.