What if losing you was the best thing that could have happened to me now?
Then, you were the only eyes I could see me through. Your vision was like a prayer I could simply Amen. You saw me as strong and I knew I was strong. You saw me as capable and I knew I was capable. You saw me as organized and I knew I was organized. You saw me as a fighter and I knew I could fight.
Now, your eyes are closed to earth and I’ve lost my sight. I feel weak reaching for the strength you once saw in me. I feel inept searching for the competence you readily found in me. I feel disoriented sorting out life without you, without your eyes to see me through. I feel like a coward trying to keep my head up while drowning tears fall and consume me.
Yet, there’s hope–a longing to someday see me through these swollen brown eyes. Someday I will no longer envy the caterpillar I was through your eyes. Someday I will no longer pity the chrysalis I am now. Oh! Someday I will fly with confidence and competence, form and fight.
Your eyes will open from heaven in time to see my eyes admire what we’ve become. Our minds’ eyes will remember the days past with fondness. But our hearts will marvel at where the journey of losing you led with joy.
Then, we will sing praises for the flight we took–yours Northwards to Heaven and mine Eastward through Earth.